ONE FROM THE
BAG MAN

We won't bury the lede: The new Doritos bag has a built-in music player so you can listen to Disney's Guardians of the Galaxy 2 soundtrack while munching. This, of course, changes everything.

You'll be able to purchase this streaming snack, which emulates an old-school cassette player and features a headphone jack, starting on 4/28 via Amazon. And yes, the bag is rechargeable. Duh.

You may snicker, but somebody in your company is going to corner you and ask something like, "So how come our acts aren't playing out of a bag of fucking tortilla chips?" And you will feel ashamed.

As we noted earlier, the ST features classic tunes by E.L.O., Fleetwood Mac, Sweet, Cheap Trick, George Harrison and Parliament, among others. It became available digitally on 4/21 and will appear in physical form (bag and non-bag formats) on 4/28, one week before the blockbuster film opens.

The real question: Will "bag plays" now have to be factored into total consumption numbers for chart purposes? Come on, you know you were wondering.

Noted Ken Bunt, "My fingers are orange."