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Thursday, March 24, 2016

LOVE THYSELF

During a pre-show ritual, Def Jam's Justin Bieber is joined by manager Scooter Braun and fellow superstar Kanye West and Puffy, among others, for a reflective moment. Having praised the Lord, Biebs proceeded to shake his booty. In a related story, Ted Cruz today called for a government surveillance database of all prayers.

 
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HITS LIST IN BLOOM
From the desert to the sea (4/15a)
Check It Out Now
ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/15a)
Check It Out Now
DESERT HEAT:
PAUL TOLLETT
The cat in the hat is calling the shots. (4/15a)
Check It Out Now
THIS HITS PHOTO GALLERY IS WANDERING IN THE DESERT
Photographic proof of the weaselfest (4/15a)
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THE COUNT: SUPERSTARS TO SURPRISE AT COACHELLA?
The latest tidbits from the vibrant live sector (4/12a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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