R.E.M + UMPG = $$$

Alternative-rock innovators, Grammy winners and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees R.E.M. have inked a global pub pact with UMPG. The deal covers the 15 studio albums the band made (global sales: 85 million), as well as hits like “Everybody Hurts,” “Stand,” “The One I Love,” “Losing My Religion” and “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine),” all of which will be getting the hell synced out of them, we imagine.

“R.E.M. is one of a small number of benchmark artists who have changed the course of popular music during their renowned career,” declared pubco ruler Jody Gerson, “and, over the past 30 years they have been the model for every artist that wants to organically develop their career with the ambition of someday reaching ‘best band in the world’ status. We are honored that R.E.M. has chosen us to take care of their generation-defining catalog,”

“As a band and an organization, we are excited to join forces with Universal Music Publishing for the next phase of R.E.M.’s legacy career,” proclaimed the band’s longtime manager, Bertis Downs. “Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe’s body of work stands alongside any artist and the Universal machine is unparalleled in terms of what we look for in a global publisher.”

Later, everyone sang along to the band’s debut album, Murmur, but they all sang entirely different words.

HITS LIST IN BLOOM
From the desert to the sea (4/15a)
ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/15a)
DESERT HEAT:
PAUL TOLLETT
The cat in the hat is calling the shots. (4/15a)
THIS HITS PHOTO GALLERY IS WANDERING IN THE DESERT
Photographic proof of the weaselfest (4/15a)
THE COUNT: SUPERSTARS TO SURPRISE AT COACHELLA?
The latest tidbits from the vibrant live sector (4/12a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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