BIBLE CALLED FOR DELAY OF GAME

In a “breaking news” alert late Thursday, the Bible trumpeted, “Beyoncé to Perform at Coldplay's Super Bowl Halftime Show.” That’s big news, to be sure—which is why we posted it last Dec. 3.

Coldplay will headline the Super Bowl halftime show on 2/7,” the item read, “and now comes word that Beyoncé and Bruno Mars will join the band for the festivities.”

We’ll let you know when BB finds out about Bruno and sends a “breaking news” alert to that effect.

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