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Onion News Network Debuts

PEEL THE ONION: The Onion News Network debuts on cable’s IFC channel a week from tomorrow, Jan. 21, at 10 p.m. (PT/ET). Check out the hilarious preview featuring clueless fictional anchors Brooke Alvarez and Tucker Hope below, virtually indistinguishable from what they’re satirizing. The website says Brooke “is active in charity work, having formed a foundation to teach newscaster dialect to young urban teens,” while Tucker “was home-schooled to allow him to focus on perfecting his pinching and zooming and practicing his pronunciation of ‘Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.’” (1/13p)


Inside The Onion News Network

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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