Weiss, Bartels Living The-Dream

TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE THE-DREAM: Universal Motown Republic Group/Island Def Jam Music Group Chairman/CEO Barry Weiss explains that he needs three business cards to list his new title, while IDJMG President Steve Bartels counsels The-Dream that he should go back to his original name, Hymie Schwartz, during one of those pre-apocalyptic moments before UMG ruler Lucian Grainge ordered everyone to turn off the lights to preserve energy. Yes, folks, after 25 years of this, we’re as sick of us as you are. (7/7p)

TORTURED POETS UNITE: TAYLOR IS BACK
Is she ever. (4/19a)
HITS LIST ENTERS
PLAYOFF MODE
Will the scoring record be broken? (4/19a)
SONG REVENUE: CALM BEFORE THE STORM
J. Cole has his moment; Future-Metro have another big payday. (4/19a)
WARNER CHAPPELL ROPES IN RED CLAY STRAYS
Another big get for Guy and Carianne (4/19a)
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/19a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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