NBA season shortened by two weeks
HISTORICALLY BAD TIMING: Ready for “Occupy Staples Center”? It’s there for the taking. The Lakers won’t be on the court, and the well-heeled season-ticket holders won’t be in their seats, for the first two weeks of the pro basketball season. NBA Commish David Stern issued a cancellation notice late Monday following a fruitless two-day negotiation session between the league and the players. Stern said the two sides were "very far apart on virtually all issues... We just have a gulf that separates us"—which is sure to elicit deep empathy from the other 99% of the population. Said a spokesman from Turner Sports, which brings us Inside the NBA, one of the most entertaining shows on all of TV: "Like most NBA fans, our hope is that a favorable resolution is reached for both sides and for an outcome that preserves as much of the 2011-12 season as possible." (10/11a)
VMAs BEAMING BACK
TO THE BIG APPLE Getting back to where they once belonged (4/24a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/24a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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A CHORUS OF PRAISE: IVORS 2024 NOMS
