ROKER VS. ROCKER: Here’s what passes for news in the first week of January. In its lead item this morning, an apparently hard-up Page Six reported that Al Roker refused to give up his first-class aisle seat for Alex Van Halen and his wife, Stine Schyberg, on an American Airlines flight from LAX to JFK yesterday. According to the item, the Today meteorologist remained glued to his phone after the doors closed to tune out the Van Halens as they complained to the gate agent that Roker was sitting between them. “Alex complained, ‘We’re not together, Mr. Roker’s seat is between ours,” a spy said. “Al was looking at his phone, desperately trying to ignore the whole situation.” Alex and Stine then swapped with passengers in business class, the spy said, adding that a relieved Roker “said ‘Hello’ to the new people when they sat down, after hiding from the Van Halens by texting.” While the situation was uncomfortable, “There was literally not an ounce of rock star bullbleep,” a spy said of Alex, “But his wife was making a big deal complaining about it.” Apparently, there was no rock star bullbleep from Eddie and his wife, Janie Liszewski, either; they were seated in the next row. (1/4a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
The dust settles on the Indio Polo Grounds. (4/22a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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