UMPG "drug haven"--Reporter

NOT JUST BLOWING SMOKE: As a gesture of solidarity with our fellow music companies, we at HITS are conducting an in-depth investigation into marijuana use at our offices; anyone found not to be stoned will be fired. Meanwhile, The Hollywood Reporter reports that a former security guard at Universal Music Publishing Group has filed suit against the pubco and her employer, Universal Protection Services, alleging "pervasive drug use where you could smell marijuana seeping from various offices, and openly used in common areas, and lounges." The guard is claiming whistleblower protection, and further alleges "UMPG employees engaged in intimate touching and grinding, involving buttocks and genitalia." She reportedly complained about pot odor when Adam Levine of Maroon 5 visited the building and was told, "[Levine] can do whatever he wants ... if he wants to come to the lobby and do a line of cocaine on the floor, it's ok." She further alleges that the security company's operations manager "informed her at a meeting that he was aware of her written complaints and told her she was suspended." In a related story, the security guard at HITS renewed his medical-marijuana card today prior to going on a dispensary-and-Funyuns run for the editorial staff, and President Todd Hensley was seen intimately touching and grinding a sheep, because it's Wednesday. (4/11a)

HITS LIST IN BLOOM
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ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/16a)
DESERT HEAT:
PAUL TOLLETT
The cat in the hat is calling the shots. (4/15a)
THIS HITS PHOTO GALLERY IS WANDERING IN THE DESERT
Photographic proof of the weaselfest (4/15a)
THE COUNT: SUPERSTARS TO SURPRISE AT COACHELLA?
The latest tidbits from the vibrant live sector (4/12a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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