RUMOR MILL
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Hartwig
DEUTSCH MARKED: Hallo! I am BMG Publishing's Hartwig Masuch, und I enjoy very much ze impish humor of HITS, und zo I vould like to be included in ze nutty hijinks! Here iss mein picture, vhich I zink you vill find very amusing. Maybe you can put a joint in my mouth for the Anniverzary issue or zumthing. I hear it vill be hilarious! UMPG getz all ze attention, but ve like to party at BMG too! Feel free to mizpronounze mein name, giff me a ridiculous, ztereotypical accent, und make jokes about shtuff zat happened years before I vas born! I don't mind! I sink you guys are a scream! But vy are you backing avay from me? (8/13p)
VMAs BEAMING BACK
TO THE BIG APPLE Getting back to where they once belonged (4/24a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/24a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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A CHORUS OF PRAISE: IVORS 2024 NOMSrumor mail
