IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR, SAYS IVANA

This morning I realized it’s mid-November and I forgot to take any vacation days so far this year, which might explain why I am incapable of linear thought or any task that requires more than two brain cells. Yay, radio promotion! Hopefully, I can make it through this column, let alone the next four weeks, without spontaneously combusting. Even in my current fugue state, this is the time when radio programmers take chances on new records BECAUSE THEY LIKE THEM! How fun to see adds this week on amazing records like Head and the Heart, Big Pink, Bombay Bicycle Club, Kasabian, Gotye, Sleeper Agent, Adele and Mutemath. It’s also the best time of year to play catch-up on second and third singles that deserve a REAL shot, like the latest from Cake (“Mustache Man [Wasted]” was most-added this week), Florence + the Machine’s “Shake it Out” (there is nobody cooler than she), AWOLNATION’s “Not Your Fault” Mumford and Sons’ “Winter Winds” (love love love), The Airborne Toxic Event’s “All I Ever Wanted” (big add at WRZX!), Joy Formidable’s “A Heavy Abacus,” Cage the Elephant’s “Aberdeen” and Foster the People’s “Don’t Stop” (personally, I still listen to “Helena Beat” every morning on my way to work). So many hit songs still left to add!… To quote my favorite Rooney song, if it were up to me, I’d also add the absolutely winsome Real Estate song “It’s Real,” plus “Cruel” from the genius St. Vincent CD (a contender for my favorite record of 2011—and an add at MTV2 this week), Noah and the Whale’s “Life Is Life” (a big sleeper smash) and Arcade Fire’s “The Suburbs” (because they DID win the Album of the Year Grammy this year, after all)…. The secret weapon in my “fantasy programming” arsenal would be the new Childish Gambino CD, which is currently #2 and #29 (clean version) on iTunes. For the uninitiated, Childish Gambino is the Wu Tang Name Generator alter ego of Donald Glover, one of the stars on the critically acclaimed/currently “benched” TV series Community. (You can find your own personal Wu Tang name here: http://www.recordstore.com/wuname/wuname.pl). Without a radio hit (yet), he’s selling out big venues and SELLING CDs (a rarity). There is no DJ onstage with him—it’s a full band, including violin on the song sampling Grizzly Bear’s “Two Weeks.” Leave it to Glassnote Records to capture lightning in a bottle yet again. Saturday’s show at the heinous Club Nokia was packed with primarily white males in their late 20s. You’re going to tell me that this crowd doesn’t listen to the radio, well whose fault is that? Fuck your M-scores. Where have they gotten you this year? How many Modern Rock stations have to flip formats before we collectively realize that this methodology is HURTING us? Many wiser than myself have said that insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Childish Gambino is dynamic, charismatic, musically thrilling and a BIG POP CULTURE MOMENT—ignore at your own peril… Most of us have had our egos flogged into dust bunnies this year: Modern Rock airplay doesn’t sell records; the audience isn’t big enough; the airplay doesn’t sell tickets; what do you mean you’ve peaked at (insert one) #2, #6, #11? You can’t break an egg; you can’t close a door; the mailman broke this record—it was going to be a #1 hit with or without you; you have no budget; no you can’t do station marketing; we’re going with a syndicated morning show; we’re going all-music in the mornings; we’re going putting you back on the air; we’re expecting an additional $100k in NTR by year’s end; we love you, but we’re going in different direction… So how about a revolution? Even if it’s gradual and undetectable to the naked eye…following the model of Glassnote…applying indie label devotion, enthusiasm and building from “the mess to the masses” to commercial radio. It’s what Norm Winer and his formidable team do every day at WXRT (and the ratings are soaring). It’s what WRXP was trying to do until Randy Michaels made one of the biggest blunders in radio history. There’s no better time to shake things up than the present. Email me: [email protected].