After three days of eating my weight in turkey and its accoutrements, I’m ready to commit to whatever diet will work, whether it’s South Beach, South Park or Linkin Park.

IVANA SUFFERS POST-TURKEY STRESS SYNDROME

Korn! Ill Nino! Iggy! Damone! Foo Fighters! Yellowcard! Phantom Planet! The Darkness!
WHICH OF THE TWO OF US IS GONNA BURN THIS HOUSE DOWN: In a concerted effort to behave in a manner suggesting that I am, in fact, a grown-up, Thanksgiving was spent stuffing my face with food, thereby rendering difficult my usual impulse to verbalize my ongoing internal monologue. Once a feeling is articulated in a familial setting, there’s no "taking it back." One glib comment could easily result in decades’ worth of hurt feelings, for which there is no antidote. After three days of eating my weight in turkey and its accoutrements, I’m ready to commit to whatever diet will work, whether it’s South Beach, South Park or Linkin Park.

WXTM PD Kim Monroe and her devoted team truncated their holiday weekend to officially kick off the PoMo Xmas festival season with last Sunday’s "A Nightmare Before X-mas" show. More than 6,500 listeners awakened from their Tryptophan comas to attend the show. Kim reports: "Korn was amazing!!! Love them!!! Ill Nino was quite surprising—I really like them. The Offspring still got it!!" Wow, that’s a lot of "!!!" for a Sunday night in Cleveland! I can barely muster the energy to do more than my laundry on the night before another work week begins.

This marks the busiest week in the PoMo Xmas circuit: WBRU, WBCN, WHFS, WPBZ (whose "Buzz Bake Sale" is one of the format’s most successful festivals, thanks to PD John O’Connell), WSUN, KPNT and Q101 are playing host to a wide array of bands (and to the promo people footing the bill). Where are the Hanukkah shows? I guess those will take place when the Beastie Boys start doing radio shows (if Jews believed in hell, this would coincide with it freezing over).

Our dear friend Gary Spivack, in the midst of relishing the feeling of having blink-182 and Puddle of Mudd at #2 and #3, respectively, on the PoMo chart, is putting together a concert to benefit the St. Joseph Center. KCRW will present "Gimme Shelter" on Dec. 11 at the Roxy in L.A., with a lineup that includes Pete Yorn, Phantom Planet, Lisa Loeb, The Like and Alexi Murdoch. Come to think of it, this really is a Hanukkah festival.

KBZT San Diego PD Garett Michaels and MD Mike Halloran added their choices for "FM94.9 Recommended" for December: Iggy Pop (f./Green Day) "Private Hell," Distillers’ "Drain the Blood," Frank Black & the Catholics’ "Massif Centrale" (which sounds like a Pixies song) and Nada Surf’s "Inside of Love." Garett can’t wait for the station’s first annual New Year’s Eve show with Guided By Voices, Year of the Rabbit and others TBA. He’s keeping the ticket price low (around $20), unlike most New Year’s Eve events. If anyone is wondering, Garett thinks "Ball and Biscuit" should be the next White Stripes single.

Further up the 5 freeway from San Diego, KROQ and Live105 added the Stripes’ "I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself," a song familiar to any fan of Burt Bacharach and/or Dusty Springfield. The Stripes’ interpretation adds a new dimension to the song (as opposed to Fred’s "rendition" of "Behind Blue Eyes," which just plain sucks). KROQ also added the next Strokes’ single, "Reptilia." RCA/J’s Chris Woltman, Bill Burrs and Dennis Blair came back from the Thanksgiving break with not only a KROQ add, but lots of Dave Matthews love for "Save Me," as well as a bunch of new adds on the Foo Fighters’ cover of "Darling Nikki." Next week, they’re launching Damone’s "Frustrated Unnoticed" at PoMo. Ask Oedipus about this band.

It’s a happy day at the HITS cesspool when I can see The Darkness video in its Buzzworthy rotation on MTV while Live105, KKND and WBTZ playlists come in with "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" as adds, which leads to a debut on the PoMo chart at #23! Justin from The Darkness will be featured on the cover of Spin’s "Next Big Thing" February issue, along with Paul from Interpol, Geoff from Thursday and Brody from the Distillers. I would pay enormous sums of money to see Paul wearing Justin’s jumpsuit and Justin wearing Paul’s agnes b. suit for the Spin cover. At least $100.

Congrats to Columbia’s PoMo promo team for launching lostprophets’ "Last Train Home" to #1 Most Added this week, while also delivering on their promise to BREAK Switchfoot’s "Meant to Live" and The Ataris’ "The Saddest Song"…. Hooray to KNRK for adding Phantom Planet’s "Big Brat" this week.

The Capitol gang is rolling out the next Yellowcard single, "Ocean Avenue," on Dec. 15, but that didn’t stop KXTE and WBRU from adding it this week! The CD of the same name has already sold over 150k, just so you know…

SONG TO HEAR: Anything (and everything) from the Polyphonic Spree!... PEOPLE TO WATCH: Bob "King of the Jungle" Waugh, Michelle St. Clair, Ross Zapin, Viggo Mortensen, Kerry Marsico, JJ Grossman, Gaby Skolnek, Stephanie Harty, Buddy Deal, Marco Collins, Chris Williams, Dave Stewart, Mike Stern and Jenni Sperandeo.

TOP 20: JUST TRUST US
A second sonic Boom (4/18a)
ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS:
PRIMARY NUMBERS
Hats off to Larry (4/17a)
TAY’S FORTHCOMING DEBUT: WE ARE TORTURED BY SPECULATION
So many questions (4/17a)
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/19a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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