MAVERICK TO MUSICNET, MUSICNET TO AOL, AOL TO PHONES. YAHOO!
“Prestigious catalogues such as Maverick’s are of paramount importance in growing our business and to offering music lovers the highest quality content possible in a secure and convenient environment,” declared MusicNet GM/EVP Ellie Hirschhorn.
“We’re excited to partner with MusicNet and look forward to expanding the reach of our artists’ music through MusicNet’s dynamic platform,” cooed Maverick New Media head Jeremy Welt.
They’re excited. It’s prestigious. Got it.
Speaking of MusicNet, the service’s AOL debut prompted a PR mailer including—get this—a blank CD. That’s because you can burn, say, five or ten tracks to CD if you pick certain subscription plans. These plans also allow for “unlimited” streaming and downloading… of tracks that have to live on your computer. OK, we’re not quite ready to take on KaZaA yet. But hey, it’s only an additional charge on a bill you’re already paying.
Hey, speaking of AOL, the service has launched something called the Mobile Music Club in collaboration with AT&T Wireless. The latter’s mMode customers (don’t ask) will be able to access music samples, downloadable music ringtones, alerts on new featured artists, quizzes, an Artist Discovery Network and other features that, um, some people might want. Hey, it’s only $3.49 more on a bill you’re already paying.
Speaking of paying bills, how about that deal struck by Yahoo! And USA Networks for—get this—ads! That’s right, the netco’s online properties will host promotions for the offline network’s incredibly high-caliber programming, like the show about Helen of Troy, or the one about guys who wanna be country stars, or the wombat who's a detective. OK, it’s not exactly dazzling, but smoke a bowl and then check out these quotes:
“We picked Yahoo! because of its commitment to entertainment and its willingness to think outside the box,” gurgled USA SVP of Marketing Sarah Beatty.
Well, there’s nothing more outside the box than running online ads about upcoming shows on the box. Or something. Then there’s this:
“As more consumers turn to the Internet to help them make their television viewing choices, Yahoo! Is the Internet’s prime spot to capture the attention of potential viewers,” improvised SVP Yahoo! Media, Entertainment, Information & Finance Jim Moloshok.
Beg pardon? Here’s how I make my “television viewing choices”: I keep clicking until I see boobs and/or guns.
But as soon as I get up off this couch, I’m gonna go get a job as SVP at a media conglomerate. It doesn’t look very hard.
