FALLIN' FOR O BROTHER!!!

There were no contentious speeches about contracts—though Michael Greene served up a sermon about downloading—at the 44th Annual Grammy Awards. Instead, everyone made nice as Alicia Keys and the O Brother soundtrack scored five trophies apiece and U2 nailed down four.

O Brother's win for Album of the Year was one of the few surprises, unlike, say, Keys nailing Best New Artist and Song of the Year ("Fallin'"). U2 took home the Record of the Year trophy for "Walk On." Those folks are all cool. We are appallingly lame.

Train's "Drops of Jupiter" was named Best Rock Song, while Nelly Furtado scored Best Female Pop Vocal for "I'm Like a Bird." OutKast snagged the Rap Album award. India.Arie, nominated in seven categories, was completely shut out.

Highlights included host Jon Stewart being stripped to his skivvies in an opening security skit, Don Henley joking in his extremely natural-seeming presentation that he didn't "feel like the most popular guy in the room," Kid Rock tipping his hat to the departed Waylon Jennings and Pink saying, "Hi, mom."

NARAS chieftain Mike Greene's speech, a salute to artists past and a just-say-no-to-file-sharing plea, lasted about 6:25—that's about 20 seconds shorter than last year, but you coulda fooled us. Several of the night's big winners got shooed off the stage by the orchestra for going on half that long.

Clive and God were thanked, but so were Donnie and Jimmy and a whole lot of moms. Your mom, too, but this article isn't about the afterparty. We kid. Dude, we kid.

Below, a partial list of winners, because partial is what we do best.

Record of the Year:
U2, "Walk On" (Interscope)

Album of the Year:
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Mercury/IDJ)

Song of the Year:
Alicia Keys, "Fallin'" (J Records)

Best New Artist:
Alicia Keys

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance:
Nelly Furtado, "I'm Like a Bird" (DreamWorks)

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance:
James Taylor, "Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight" (Verve)

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal:
U2, "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of" (Interscope)

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals:
Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya & Pink, "Lady Marmalade" (Interscope)

Best Dance Recording:
Janet Jackson, "All for You" (Virgin)

Best Pop Vocal Album:
Sade, Lovers Rock (Epic)

Best Female Rock Vocal Performance:
Lucinda Williams, "Get Right With God" (Lost Highway)

Best Male Rock Vocal Performance:
Lenny Kravitz, "Dig In" (Virgin)

Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal:
U2, "Elevation" (Interscope)

Best Hard Rock Performance:
Linkin Park, "Crawling" (Warner Bros.)

Best Metal Performance:
Tool, "Schism" (Volcano)

Best Rock Song:
Train, "Drops of Jupiter," (Columbia)

Best Rock Album:
U2, All That You Can't Leave Behind (Interscope)

Best Alternative Music Album:
Coldplay, Parachutes (Nettwerk/Capitol)

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance:
Alicia Keys, "Fallin'" (J Records)

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance:
Usher, "U Remind Me" (Arista)

Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal:
Destiny's Child, "Survivor" (Columbia)

Best R&B Song:
Alicia Keys, "Fallin'" (J Records)

Best R&B Album:
Alicia Keys, Songs in A Minor (J Records)

Best Rap Solo Performance:
Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott. "Get Ur Freak On" (Goldmind/Elektra)

Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group:
OutKast, "Ms. Jackson" (Arista)

Best Rap Album:
OutKast, Stankonia (Arista)

Best Country Album:
Timeless: Hank Williams Tribute (Lost Highway)

Best Contemporary Folk Album:
Bob Dylan, Love and Theft (Columbia)

Best Polka Album:
Jimmy Sturr, Gone Polka (Rounder)

Best Soundtrack Album:
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Mercury/IDJ)

Best Score Soundtrack Album:
Tan Dun, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Sony Classical)

Song Written for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media:
They Might Be Giants, "Boss of Me (Malcolm in the Middle)" (Restless)

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical:
T Bone Burnett

Short-Form Music Video:
Fatboy Slim featuring Bootsy Collins, "Weapon of Choice" (Astralwerks)