RUMOR MILL
Go ahead and admit it: You don't get the Velvet Underground.
Thursday, March 14, 2002
AUSTIN PREPARES FOR
INVASION OF ROCKCRITS
Geeks Descend on Texas for annual SXSW and You Know Who You Are
Austin American-Statesman journalists Michael Corcoran and Robert Wilonsky roll out the welcome mat for the nearly 700 music critics, "several of whom don't have a record review in the new Blender," descending on their town for this weekend's SXSW convention with "a heapin' helpin' of the truth" in the form of "35 things every rock critic should know" aside from, "Yes, you are a groupie." For a complete list click here.
Some of their career counsel includes:
Go ahead and admit it: You don't get the Velvet Underground.
Ryan Adams has no talent.
Dressing like a rock star doesn't make you look like a rock star: It only reinforces the stereotype that critics are musician wannabes (Boy, that's three David Fricke refs in a row.)
Lester Bangs is dead. What's your excuse?
Three more of the most frightening words ever: "Robert Christgau protege."
If you receive a sex tape featuring a prominent R&B artist and don't dub copies for friends, then you deserve the Chicago Sun-Times.
"Yo La Tengo" is Spanish for "Critics Can't Rock."
Having Courtney Love hit on you during an interview is as special as a free coffee refill.
Re: the Strokes. Make up your mind already.
VMAs BEAMING BACK
TO THE BIG APPLE Getting back to where they once belonged (4/24a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/24a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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A CHORUS OF PRAISE: IVORS 2024 NOMSrumor mail
