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JUDD VS. JUGS,
AND OTHER STORIES

Our Music Roundup Is Family-Friendly, If Your Family Is A Bunch Of Sex-Mad Inbreds

KEEPING HER TRAILER PARK CLEAN
Country queen Naomi Judd caused quite a scene at a Nashville-area restaurant last Wednesday (1/24) when she became outraged by a male stripper. According to The Tennessean, Judd and her husband were dining at Amerigo's restaurant when she noticed a strapping young buck straddling a young girl. Judd allegedly poked the stripper, asking him to stop gyrating in the purportedly wholesome establishment. The nudge caused the dancer to fall onto 18-year-old Emily Westermeier, who in turn fell and bumped her head. The girl's family had hired the stripper to help celebrate her birthday and had permission from the restaurant's management. Judd told reporters, "I could see he was straddling a very young girl and their pelvises were touching and they were simulating intercourse. I was so stunned, I can't even tell you." The street date for Judd's upcoming album, "When Our Pelvises Touch," is TBA.

VIAGRA IS THE DRUG I'M THINKIN' OF
Smooth rock sensation Roxy Music will reform after an 18-year split for a new world tour. Three of the group's original members, including lead singer Bryan Ferry, have signed on to perform 50 concerts. Guitarist Phil Manzanera and saxophonist Andy Mackay have been added for the tour. Founding member Brian Eno will not take part in the reunion tour. "I hated them when I played with them in the ‘70s and we were young," Eno was overheard saying. "Why would I rejoin them now when we all need respirators."

THE IMMERGENT SONG
Dishwalla
, Venice Underground (featuring Porno For Pyros' Peter DiStefano) and fledgling alt-rockers Bird are among the artists to join the immergent Records roster. Based in West Los Angeles, immergent is a companion label to Silverline Records, which recently released the first-ever Grammy-nominated DVD-Audio title (by Gordon Goodwin's Big Phat Band). In addition, the new imprint sports its own multimillion-dollar studio complex that numbers Sting, Hanson, Fleetwood Mac and Billy Idol among its clients. According to immergent President/CEO John Trickett, the label strives for artist development. "For too long the artists and their music have taken second to corporate earning reports and executive bonuses," said Trickett. "Now artists have a home that cares about who they are, one that's committed to helping them build lifelong careers. It's time to go back to the songs and develop meaningful music that will stand the test of time. And if that doesn't work out, we hear this Internet thing is a goldmine."

"LADDER" ACROSS AMERICA
ATO/RCA
crooner David Gray is gearing up for his largest North American tour. The 33-day stint, which kicks off April 12 at the Quest in Minneapolis and wraps up May 28 at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver, includes stops in Los Angeles, New York and Chicago. The dates mark Gray's fourth North American tour since the release of "White Ladder." For a complete list of dates, check out www.davidgray.com or Lenny Beer's Pee-Chee folder.

MANAGED CARE
Artist manager Stewart Young has signed on with TBA Entertainment Corporation. The veteran manager currently oversees the careers of Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Foreigner, UB40 and Scorpions. Young's clients will join TBA's roster, which includes ninedays, Brooks & Dunn and Kathy Mattea. Young will be based in London and will service TBA's European and American clients with both management and Scorpions tour merchandise circa-1985. His success with ELP reportedly influenced his decision to get Mattea to include a 29-minute Moog solo on her next disc.

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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