MUSIC NEWS FOR THE SUBSTANCE-INTOLERANT

GUESS HE SHOULDN'T HAVE PENNED A SONG CALLED "MARRIED WITH CHILDREN"
Oasis guitarist/songwriter Noel Gallagher has split from his wife of three years. A band spokesperson said Gallagher and wife Meg Matthews had "simply drifted apart over the last year or so, " and had no immediate plans to divorce. The couple has an eight-month-old daughter, Anais. Their separation follows the announcement in July that his younger brother and bandmate Liam had split up from his wife, professional musicians' wife Patsy Kensit. The Oasis camp would not confirm rumors the Gallagher brothers were simply engaged in yet another sibling battle of one-upsmanship.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
According to The New York Post, Latina diva Jennifer Lopez has split from her controversial beau, rap impresario Sean "Puffy" Combs. The report cites Lopez's absence at Puff's Labor Day party at his home in the Hamptons. A spokesperson for Lopez says she's simply off promoting her new sci-fi flick, "The Cell." But the Post would never lie, would it?

FASHION PLATE
Singer/actor/Internet guru/social icon David Bowie has a new title to add to his resume: GQ's Most Stylish Man Of The Year. The Thin White Duke received the award Tuesday (9/5) during a ceremony in London. The ever-dapper Bowie beat out current James Bond Pierce Brosnan and Oscar-nominated pin-up boy Jude Law for the honor. Surprisingly, HITS' own $1,000 man lenny beer',390,400);">lenny beer',390,400);">Lenny Beer was not even in the running.

DOES EXCESSIVE NOISE HINDER THE GROWTH OF MULLETS?
Eighties rockers Def Leppard caused a clamor at the Oregon State Fair when they cranked down the volume during their concert Sunday (9/3). More than 700 irate fans requested refunds because the show was too quiet. A city noise ordinance required the band to perform at a low volume. The band, who ended up sharing the $14,000 loss with the fair, announced before the concert that audience members unhappy with the quieter affair could get refunds for their tickets, which went for $20, or half-off for drummers.

LOVE AND THE FIRE-BREATHING PUSSY
Several sites on the Web are reporting that Courtney Love is interested in fire-breathing Amazon Corey Parks as a replacement for departed bassist Melissa Auf Der Maur. Parks recently parted with Nashville Pussy just before the band embarked on the Tattoo The Earth tour. Confirmation on the news has been slow in coming as Parks' absence from her former band has been termed a "hiatus." And just by writing a story that includes the words "hole" and "pussy," we've succeeded in getting this site barred by Net Nanny systems everywhere.