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WHEN BAD NEWS HAPPENS TO GOOD MUSICIANS

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SEXY IS AS SEXY DOES
U.K. music pop star Robbie Williams extended his reign at the top of women's fantasy lists Wednesday (10/4), when he was voted the world's sexiest man by New Woman magazine. More than 100,000 women around the world voted in the poll to find the 100 sexiest men in the world. Williams beat out such challengers as Brad Pitt and George Clooney, who were second and third respectively. "I just wish these birds that want my bloody sausage would go out and buy my fuckin' records," he said.

THEY COULDN'T JUST LET IT BE
The Beatles help deliver a new book today (10/5), the first account by band members of their rise to fame during the 1960s. Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, the three living band members, collaborated on the book, as did Yoko Ono, John Lennon's widow. "[This book] marks the first time that the band have had their own say in their own story," a spokesman for the publisher said. "And, after questioning them, I now realize why their input wasn't necessary for the thousands of other books out there. Turns out, after all the drugs they did back then, the guys hardly even remember being in a band."

PEARL JAM ENTERS RECORD BOOKS
Pearl Jam did something no artist has ever done before—they landed five new albums on the album chart simultaneously. The record-breaking feat lost some steam when it was revealed that no other band had ever released 25 albums simultaneously before. Five of the Seattle rock band's 25 double-disc concert recordings will appear on next week's chart, with "Katowice 6/16" topping the list. Other authorized bootlegs that landed in chartdom include "Milan 6/22," "Verona 6/20," "London 5/30" and "Hamburg 6/26." The band hopes to top that feat when it releases the "official bootlegs" of its North American concert stops, which will each include songs sung by frontman Eddie Vedder in the shower.

DARKNESS FALLS ON KNIGHT
Gladys Knight's South Carolina stop may not have been far enough south on her midnight train to Georgia to sell tickets, considering that the R&B legend's scheduled concert there was canceled. Promoter Margaret Rush, who said the stoppage will cost her $40,000, canceled Thursday's (10/5) show at the North Charleston Coliseum after selling only 639 out of nearly 5,000 tickets. "Without the Pips she might as well be Ronnie Spector performing without the Ronettes," a fan said. "It's the package, man! Now give me back my money."

DOG-GONE INVENTIVE
Everybody needs friends… even robots. That's why Sony is introducing a pal for its robot dog, Aibo. The company will release details on the new mechanical pet, including its launch date, on October 12. While the 27-inch tall dog can go for walks, chase a ball and wag its tail, Sony is keeping the specifics of his playmate under wraps. "It will be a friend of Aibo's, but we can't say anything more about it," said a Sony spokesperson, "except Aibo's leg-humping days may soon be over."

PHILADELPHIA FREEDOM OF SPEECH
Philadelphia 76ers
star Allen Iverson is apologizing in advance for offending gays and women with his new rap album. While violent and often misogynistic lyrics are a mainstay amongst rap lyrics, Iverson has come under fire for giving his basketball team a bad name. Iverson's album, "Non-Fiction," is due out in February, with the first single, "40 Bars," hitting radio Tuesday (10/10). Said Iverson in a statement: "If individuals of the gay community and women of the world are offended by any of the material in my upcoming album, let the record show that I wish to extend a profound apology. If a kid thinks that I promote violence by the lyrics of my songs, I beg them not to buy it or listen to it. I want kids to dream and to develop new dreams. And if they don't, I'll head-butt those punk-ass bitches until they cry like little girls."

SHARING IS CARING
Rollingstone.com and ticketmaster.com are sharing their services. Visitors to Rollingstone.com can now access concert and ticketing information. "Rollingstone.com and ticketmaster.com share similar audiences—avid music fans who want access to their favorite artists, whether it be online or in person at a live event," said Rollingstone.com GM Chris Henger. "Ticketmaster.com's comprehensive and dynamic tour and ticketing information enhances the overall experience for Rollingstone.com's music-loving audience. We're very excited to be working with the clear leader in online ticketing services. Plus, they'll let us park for free at their West Hollywood office when we visit the nearby strip clubs."

ALL YOU NEED IS 1,500 YEN ADMISSION
Yono, Japan is the home of a new museum honoring slain Beatle John Lennon. The museum, located 15 miles from Tokyo, is set to open Monday, October 9, on what would have been Lennon's 60th birthday. More than 130 items are on display, including an old driver's license and passport, Lennon's first guitar and a pair of his trademark wire-rimmed glasses. Said Lennon's widow, Yoko Ono: "Celebrating his birthday isn't just celebrating his life, but allowing his spirit to live on in us." While all music fans are welcomed, museum officials said they will deny admission to Godzilla, Mothra and Rodan.

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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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