LIFE AFTER BIRTH:
MADONNA'S ON TOP

While still radiating with the glow of new mommydom, the always-incredible Madonna gave birth to yet another #1 album as this week's top debut added to the legacy of a career that is nothing short of mindboggling in today's music industry.

"It's nothing short of phenomenal how Madonna keeps such a stronghold on her fan base," said Brant Barry of Fred Meyer, whose all-time favorite film is Madonna's cinematic masterpiece, "Shanghai Surprise," with "Body of Evidence" running a close second.

Madonna's monster "Music" was followed in this week's Top Five by Universal's Nelly, Interscope's Eminem, Wind-Up's Creed and MCA Nashville's George Strait, which boasted the only other Top Five debut of the week.

Rounding out the Top 10 was Island/Def Jam's LL Cool J at #6. He was followed by Jive's Britney Spears, Republic/Universal's 3 Doors Down, Jive's NSYNC and S-Curve/Artemis' Baha Men. In addition, 550's Fuel posted an impressive #12 chart bow, and Untertainment/Epic's Cam'ron debuted at #14—which leads us to this incredibly brilliant retail quote, which pretty much says the same thing as the preceding paragraphs:

"George Strait continues to deliver as he scores a big debut with us," said Barry, wiping away yet another wad of drool which inexplicably and uncontrollably gathers on his chin from time to time. "We also saw strong urban action from Cam'ron and a big rock debut from Fuel. It looks like the fourth quarter has finally begun in earnest."

In a related story, Brant discovered his first name is really Brent—he'd just been spelling it wrong all these years.