Quantcast
We came really close to understanding the buzzword mumbo-jumbo of this press release, but got sidetracked by giggling when we read about Reciprocal’s "back-end expertise" and Digital Goods’ "complete package."

DOT COMEDY

Just Another Excuse To Make A Handful Of Online Porn Jokes
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY…
Amplified.com and Valley Media today announced that they have enhanced the framework of their merger agreement. "The new agreement with Valley," said Amplified CEO Chris Melton, "helps align the core strengths of both companies with the changing dynamics of the needs of the industry and our partners." The result of the new agreement for both companies will be "lower costs for building and maintaining the data, technology and operational infrastructure surrounding direct-to-consumer online fulfillment." Sadly, the agreement included no stipulations about writing press releases in English.

NOTHING SEXIER THAN A "DIGITAL RIGHTS MANAGEMENT" STORY
Digital content marketing company Digital Goods (the company formerly known as SoftLock.com) today (12/4) announced that it has signed an agreement with digital rights management company Reciprocal. Under terms of the agreement, the two companies will offer an integrated solution for publishing and marketing secure digital content. The combination will enable content publishers to deliver a variety of digital content while respecting all copyrights—the concept du jour. Digital Goods will also serve as a reseller of the Reciprocal Digital Clearing Service. We came really close to understanding the buzzword mumbo-jumbo of this press release, but got sidetracked by giggling when we read about Reciprocal's "back-end expertise" and Digital Goods' "complete package."

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE
Microsoft today released the free Bonus Pack for its Windows Media Player 7 that includes the Audio Converter 3.0, a tool which enables users to double the amount of music stored on their PCs by converting MP3 files into the space-saving Windows Media Audio format. The Bonus Pack also includes a Winamp Skin Importer (which quickly converts any of the thousands of existing Winamp skins into Windows Media skins), eight new skins, eight new collections of visuals that move in time to the music (much like those crazy dancin' Santas), and some other crap that's sure to make your music listening less of a chore. To go along with this announcement was the good news that a new study by Millward Brown, one of the world's top 10 market research organizations, surveyed consumers in three major markets in the U.S. and found that 76% preferred Windows Media Player 7 to RealPlayer 8 and RealJukebox8, primarily citing Windows Media Player 7's greater ease of use. Guess our pathetic lives weren't lived in vain after all.

WHAT THE BRITISH NEED MORE THAN ORTHODONTIA
Starting this month, BMG Entertainment will begin a trial phase with global digital commerce service Magex to distribute its catalog in the United Kingdom. A public test will take place in early 2001. Magex's digital clearing house purports to make global commerce easier by processing orders in international currencies, as well as offering translated software and an international help desk. "The European community is a huge growth market for the music industry, which is obvious through BMG's strong presence here," said Magex Chairman and CEO Patrick Campbell. "We're a good fit with BMG—we're a global organization with the resources and experience it needs, and we've got a shitload of David Hasselhoff downloads ready to roll!"

IN THE GARAGE
Garageband.com is currently celebrating its first anniversary with a site redesign. The new features include 14 defined music genres (each with genre-specific radio stations and charts), a customized Real Player, localized charts and gig listings for hundreds of cities, and direct access to GetSigned.com, Garageband.com's recently acquired musician's resource. The site has also hooked up with record retail giant HMV on the "Review Music, Get Music" program, which rewards members with virtually any single CD from HMV when they complete 20 reviews. "We've been listening to our users intently and have delivered a set of features that they've been asking for," said Garageband.com CEO Tom Zito. "Well, everything but the hard-core porn, that is."

SO, HOTTEENSLUTS.MU WOULD BE A "SERIOUS MUSIC SITE"?
Beginning Dec. 11, musicians, record labels, studios, agents and music fans alike will be able to register domain names ending with a dot-mu (.mu) instead of a dot-com. The "mu" in dot-mu, of course, stands for "music." In order to deal with the expected cyber-land rush, SamsDirect Internet has set up multiple domain registration sites at: www.hot.mu, www.dot.mu and www.mu. "When you have a dot-mu attached to your domain name," said SDI Chairman and CEO David Sams, "people will know that you're serious about your profession—and your love for music." We're sure that's been a big issue up until now with sites such as Musicmusicmusic.com.

CHEWING GUAM
Judge Mary M. Schroeder, one of the illustrious judges in the Napster appeal case, has been promoted—if that's what you call it in the world of jurisprudence—to the nation's largest judicial circuit, the Ninth Circuit. Judge Schroeder succeeds Judge Procter Hug Jr., who has held the post since March 1996 and has a much funnier name. By doing so, Judge Schroeder becomes the first woman chief judge of the Ninth Circuit. She will preside over a circuit that encompasses Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, Washington and the islands of Guam and the Northern Marianas. "If there's anyone who can keep Napster out of the Northern Marianas," said one industry insider, "it's Judge Schroeder."

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
 Email

 First Name

 Last Name

 Company

 Country
CAPTCHA code
Captcha: (type the characters above)