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FOR THOSE ABOUT TO READ MUSIC NEWS, WE SALUTE YOU

U2 Does TV, Bowie Does Downloads and Kids Like Bush

BEAUTIFUL WEBCAST
U2
is set to make its first appearance on FarmClub.com. The episode, which also features performances by Outkast, At The Drive-In and new band And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead, will air on the USA Network Monday (10/30), the eve of the release of the band's highly anticipated "All That You Can't Leave Behind" (Interscope). Farmclub.com will Webcast the event Friday (10/27) starting at 3 p.m. ET. Said U2 frontman Bono: "We're just doing the show to meet co-host Ali Landry, get a free bag of Doritos and rub Matt Pinfield's head for good luck."

ZIGGY DOWNLOADED TRACKS
David Bowie
is offering fans an exclusive live download of "Ziggy Stardust." The track was one of two live versions of "Ziggy Stardust" intended for inclusion on "Bowie At The Beeb," a three-disc set chronicling BBC sessions as well as live performances from 1968-1972, but a production glitch caused it to be omitted. Owners of the disc can obtain the track by downloading MusicMatch Jukebox software, which, utilizing Gracenote's music recognition technology, will verify ownership. Said Bowie: "MusicMatch and Gracenote were able to step into the breach and quickly provide a solution to the ‘double-minting' of the CD. Five years ago, this would never have been possible and it's a great bonus to those who already own the album, as it extends the value of the CD overall. Then again… I could piss in a Dixie Cup and make a fortune on eBay."

THE FUTURE OF OUR NATION
Some kids wet their beds. Other kids eat paste. And some even want Texas Governor George W. Bush to be the next President of the United States. According to Nickelodeon's "Kids Vote," Bush received 55% of the kiddie vote, withVice President Al Gore garnering 45%. More than 330,000 tykes cast their votes via the Internet, an 800 number and in person at Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando. Said "Nick News" Host Linda Ellerbee: "Who won is important, and listening to what kids think always is. But what really counts is that kids got interested in the campaign, in the democratic process, and they voted. I hope they make it a life-long habit." Ellerbee noted the results would have differed if Nick viewers read Rolling Stone instead of Highlights For Children. "That package of Gore's… now that's a highlight." The "Kids Vote" has correctly forecast the last three Presidential elections, picking Mr. Rogers, Amanda Bynes and Eminem, respectively.

GOP DOWN WITH DOWNLOADS
Move over, Billy Ray Cyrus… There's a new song touting the Republican ticket. Ray Soular's "George W. Bush Victory Song" has been attracting attention—and downloads—on Napster and MP3.com.Originally written for an August Bush rally, the song has since been played during Republican events. Said Soular: "Good election songs are rare because of the challenge in finding that magical combination of words and music that inspires and motivates people from apathy to passion, while still being fun to sing." The Bush/Cheney ticket is currently using Cyrus' "We The People," of which Soulas commented: "It's okay as a song, but when the future of the country depends on the message, it's best not to beat around the Bush." Cyrus replied: "Excuse me, punk, but the future of the of the country hangs on my every word. Mullets. Need I say more?"

HAVE YOURSELF A MUST-SEE LITTLE XMAS
NBC
has tapped the stars of its TV shows to spread some Christmas cheer. The network will release "NBC Celebrity Christmas" on EMI-Capitol. Starting Oct. 31, the disc will be available exclusively at Wal-Mart. Proceeds will benefit the Children's Miracle Network. "NBC Celebrity Christmas" includes "Will & Grace"'s Sean Hayes performing "The Christmas Song," Bebe Neuwirth ("Deadline") and John Lithgow ("3rd Rock From The Sun")'s duet of "Baby It's Cold Outside," Jay Leno's rendition of "Twas The Night Before Christmas" (Jesus save us) and Children's Miracle Network co-founder Marie Osmond singing "O Holy Night." Osmond had been tapped to record the Rugburns' seasonal classic "I Hate Fucking Christmas," but decided she didn't look good in plaid.

MY, OH MY VH1 AWARDS
VH1 has announced the finalists for My VH1 Music Awards. The fully interactive music show features categories picked by viewers. Making the cut includes the categories of "Your Song Kicked Ass But Was Played Too Damn Much" (Macy Gray, Santana, Creed, ninedays, Vertical Horizon), "Most Entertaining Public Feud" (Metallica vs. Napster, NSYNC vs. Lou Pearlman, Whitney Houston vs. Honolulu Airport Security, Diana Ross vs. the Supremes, Eminem vs. everyone) and "You Want Fries With That Album?" (Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Sting, Faith Hill, NSYNC). The awards, which will take place Nov. 30 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, will be Webcast on VH1.com. Net viewers will have the opportunity to ask winners questions via e-mail. Disgruntled HITS staffers were heard bitching about the fact that the Buck Pets and Neilson Pearson were left out for Most Anticipated Comeback.

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ONE SHINING HITS LIST
She shoots, she scores! (3/26a)
YTD MARKET SHARE
Zeroing in on the elite teams (3/27a)
BEST IN THE WEST:
STEVE BERMAN
High time for another Eminem skit (3/26a)
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Streaming subscriptions lead the charge. (3/27a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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