NELLY'S "GRAMMAR"
STILL PERFECT

"I love the way you write. Hey, come a little closer so I can show you my secret service," purred Al Gore's incredibly hot daughter as I sat at my antiquated computer writing this week's chart story. "Honest, hot stuff, Tipper won't mind," she said as her left hand… WHOA. Sorry about that, folks, It was just a summer daydream. Now to this week's chart.

Hey, how about that Nelly? Another week in the stores, another week at #1 for the Fo' Reel/Universal hip-hop phenomenon. Trust us, in these dog days of summer, this is one title retailers are barking about.

"Nelly's sales continue to be unbelievable," barked Northeast One-Stop's Ron Nicks, whose own doggie style is renowned industrywide. "It's been one of the true bright spots in what has otherwise been a rather dismal summer."

And Nicks ain't just stroking your poodle, folks. Nelly leads a mostly familiar Top Five this week, as he's followed by Britney at #2, Eminem at #3 and "NOW 4" at #4, with Creed moving up to #5.

In fact, the only newcomer in the entire Top 10 is the soundtrack to "Coyote Ugly," which jumps 16-9, thanks to the LeAnn Rimes smash.

"The ‘Coyote Ugly' soundtrack just came out of nowhere," said Nicks as he played with his chihuahua. "Never underestimate the power of LeAnn Rimes. It has just rocketed into the Top 10 over the past two weeks."

Meanwhile, NSYNC slips to #6, Papa Roach crawls in at #7, 3 Doors Down is #8 and the resurgent Red Hot Chili Peppers come in at #10.

"Watch out for ‘Coyote,'" said Nicks to the German shepherd watching over his personal flock of sheep.

Did someone say sheep…?" Sheep can be our friend," said Al Gore's incredibly hot daughter, as we gently lulled ourselves to sleep with a tape of her daddy's convention speech… Zzzzzzzz…