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That squeaking noise you're hearing isn't the gerbil-powered magic of this Web site, but the collective hip joints of The Rolling Stones as the band leaps into action--or at least, gets up very carefully. Tour promotion powerhouse SFX Entertainment expects to mount a new Rolling Stones tour for 2001. The Stones have taken the top-grossing spot for each of their last four tours—'89's "Steel Wheels" tour ($98 million), '94's "Voodoo Lounge" tour ($119 million), '97's "Bridges To Babylon" tour ($89.5 million) and '99's "No Security" tour ($64.7 million). No further details have been given on the tour, other than the speculation that Pfizer Pharmaceutical's miracle drug Viagra may be a sponsor… In related Stones news, Paula and Joan Atkinson, who managed a stud farm for Stones drummer Charlie Watts, were jailed for embezzling the equivalent of roughly $39,000 U.S. The Atkinsons apparently planned to use some stolen pony jizz to sire a nag for Melissa Etheridge… Somebody out there just lost a bet! Brian Wilson will tour the U.S. with a full orchestra this summer, performing The Beach Boys' classic 1966 album "Pet Sounds" in its entirety. While the complete itinerary has yet to be announced, a Sept. 24 date at the Hollywood Bowl has been confirmed. Wilson will not actually be onstage for the tour, but will be kept in a secluded room nearby each venue… And speaking of touring, not only will veteran funk/ska/punk/rockers Fishbone be joining the Red Hot Chili Peppers/Stone Temple Pilots summer tour, but the band will also be featured in an upcoming Priceline.com commercial with William Shatner. Surprisingly, the former Captain Kirk has long been a ‘Bone fan. "I'm thinking about remaking ‘Lyin' Ass Bitch' for my new album," Shatner said. Also appearing in the commercial will be Louise Post, Ben Folds and Lisa Loeb… Add touring: Starr announced the sixth edition of his All-Starr Band. The 35-date, 29-city tour will be sponsored by Century 21 and is called—are you ready for this mouthful?—Century 21.com Presents Ringo And His All-Starr Band Connections Tour 2000. The band will feature Eric Carmen, Jack Bruce, Simon Kirke, Dave Edmunds and Mark Rivera. The tour begins May 12-13 in Atlantic City and wraps up July 1 in Milwaukee… And while we're on the subject of the Beatles, the personal diaries of Fab Four manager Brian Epstein and a handwritten letter from Paul McCartney failed to sell at an auction in London last week. The highest bids for both items fell far short of the reserve prices, which were each in the $16,000-$24,000 range. In related news, bids on eBay for locks of Elian Gonzalez's hair went through the roof… The members of KISS have apologized to the South Carolina town of Greenville. At the close of an April 22 concert in Greenville, a video screen referred to the town as "Greenfield." The band published an apologetic letter in the Greenville News on April 27. Said the paper's editor, "It's refreshing for someone to be apologizing to South Carolina for a change."… For his new album, "Renaissance," Lionel Richie has recorded a duet with teen heartthrobs the Backstreet Boys. The upbeat track, "Cinderella," may in fact be the initial single from the album, which is due in June. "I knew they were fans," Richie said, "but they turned out to be real sweethearts." Rumors that they kicked his butt in thumb-wrestling went unconfirmed at presstime… Liza Minnelli is in the hospital with a hip problem and has canceled upcoming tour dates for "Minnelli on Minnelli." The 54-year-old has had two surgeries on her right hip, which have hampered her mobility and forced her to perform several of the show's numbers while sitting in a chair. Start spreading the news...