SMELLS EVEN WORSE THAN TORY SPIRIT: British Prime Minister Tony Blair is taking paternity leave when his 45-year-old wife gives birth to their fourth child next month. After being warned that caring for an infant might be more challenging than running the country, the PM confided that it's not all that different from dealing with members of the House of Lords: "You hold your nose, lift them up by the ankles and wipe. Oh yeah, and serve them tea and scones at four."
CZECH IT OUT: After Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras engineered a thrilling come-from-behind victory in Davis Cup for the U.S.A. against the Czech Republic, vanquished tennis players Jiri Novak and Slava Dosedel were furious. "It's not so much that we lost," Dosedel said, "it's those stupid American puns in the newspapers. 'It's Czech out time!' 'Bounced Czechs!' 'U.S. writes off those Czechs!' What's the matter with these people! We finally got rid of Slovakia and now we have to deal with this?! Can't anyone buy us a few vowels and be done with it?"
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/18a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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