WATCHING APPLE
Cook is correct to call it the largest album release in history, even if it is free.
While we're on the subject, the deal to distribute U2’s album free to all iTunes customers is being valued, by the powers in Cupertino, at $100 million—covering product, advertising and marketing. How is that money being divided between the rights holders, i.e. the band and UMG? Is this latest great piece of dealmaking by Lucian Grainge one of the “unintended consequences” of Apple’s $3 billion Beats acquisition, as he aptly put it?
In other Apple news:
Apple unveiled thinner, faster, more HD, more memory-rich new iPhone 6 ($199.99-$399.99, from 16-128GB) and huge 6 Plus devices (with bigger screens--$299.99-$499.99), which will be available on 9/19 (pre-orders start 9/12) and are so smart that you'll feel 87% dumber. The phones have even better camera functionality and enable cool features like Apple Pay wireless payment (see below) and Wi-Fi calling.
Cook and Eddy Cue then stepped up to introduce Apple Pay, a "seamlessly integrated" single-touch alternative to the wallet that almost certainly won't fall prey to Uzbek hackers. You'll be able to use it at McDonald's, Disneyland, Target (Cue name-checked Beats headphones), Whole Foods and of course the Apple Store, among countless others.
A richly fetishistic video of the Apple Watch followed, which was greeted, we kid you not, with a standing O. Cook promised the "most personal" device yet and the best watch ever made in the freakin' universe: "An intimate way to connect and communicate directly from your wrist," with health and fitness features and full iPhone compatibility. Social features allow "digital touch communication" with friends, and "taptic communication" buzzes your wrist with notifications.
An array of apps for the watch guarantee that the whole fucking world will be gawking at their fucking wrists all the fucking time. It works with (and in some cases requires) an iPhone. A series of fitness apps combine to give you "a comprehensive view of your daily activity." Yes, it makes you healthier. HEALTHIER.
Cook noted that each new Apple device category has offered user-interface innovation. The "digital crown" dial/wheel/button on the side is key to controlling it. Worship it! Surrender to it! You are merely a meat pedestal for its divine perfection!
Starting price is $349 and it'll become available in early 2015, which, your watch will note, marks the beginning of the end of humanity
